The Emotional Side Behind Egg Freezing and Thoughts on the Choice of Single Motherhood

Since I’ve been on this Egg Freezing road I’ve met many women and had a number of conversations surrounding the choice of single motherhood vs. becoming a single mother due to circumstance.  Many career women choose to freeze their eggs because:

  1.  Age
  2. They aren’t ready for a family as yet.
  3. They would like to reach a certain place in their career first.
  4. They know that they want a baby at some point but are unsure about if there will be a partner in their lives.

Also when it comes to Egg Freezing the road towards making this choice for some women can be very emotional and calls for major soul searching questions to be asked, such as:

  • When will I find someone?
  • Am I open to being a single mother?
  • How will it look to my peers that I’m freezing my eggs?
  • Should I have made more of an effort in establishing a relationship instead of focusing on my career?
  • Suppose I spend all this money and it doesn’t work?
  • Suppose I never have a child?  Am I ready to face this reality?

This can be quite an emotional tailspin and not a decision you should make over wine.  You need all the facts, the consultations, the prayers and meditation, journal it, be still with it, listen to yourself, ask more questions.  Do this if you’re at peace with it because no matter what it will all work out how it’s supposed to work out.

Many women have a plan that some may call generic or traditional or old school.  That plan is the one with the husband, the family home, the dog and of course the baby/babies. However, life can sometimes take us on a whole other path and can turn out in an entirely different way not close to how you planned it.

To some Egg Freezing is so modern, “cool” and progressive but that doesn’t mean she’s freezing her eggs to continue on an equally progressive mode which is the choice of single motherhood.  You’ll hear some women saying,  “I only need a donor because I just want the baby, I don’t need a partner.”  Some will say, “I’ve just always wanted a baby and when I’m ready I’ll have one no matter what.”  This is great with the right financial, mental and emotional support around you.  This is also great if it’s YOUR CHOICE.  I applaud this woman but it isn’t something I desire.  I’m not that modern or progressive when it comes to this.  I’m quite old school where this is concerned.  Long time ago I made the decision that if there is no partner, there is no baby and I still feel the same way.  Quite frankly, I’d like to be married before I have a baby.  If have a child, this is the context I’d like to raise my children in.  I know it sounds old school, archaic, traditional but it’s a value and an ideal I still hold close to my heart.  I’m sure a lot of it has to do with my parents and watching their marriage and also being raised in church.  Freezing my eggs for me was a choice to put me at peace, knowing that the option was there and that my healthy eggs are stored and ready for me when I’m ready.  Nothing is guaranteed.  Nothing is promised.  There’s a 96% egg survival rate and you have to be ok with the 4% chance that this could not work.  I believe in staying present on my journey because every experience is for my evolution.

Everyone, I’m in the home stretch.  It looks like we’re harvesting these babies at the end of the week.  I’m ready to stop taking shots!  I’m excited to get this done!  I am at peace with my decision.  Let’s do this!

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